


Heroes and Timelines and Other Messy Junk Like That

by heiroftime27



Category: Homestuck, Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Schönberg/Boublil
Genre: Multi, hopefully this is an au i will update every week so!!! big hopes :o)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-06
Updated: 2015-04-06
Packaged: 2018-03-21 14:15:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3695411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heiroftime27/pseuds/heiroftime27
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I did the worst (best) thing in the world and combined two of these into one so I hope you're happy, cosmic universe keeper.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heroes and Timelines and Other Messy Junk Like That

The smell of baked goods infiltrated the air and woke up the sleeping teenager with barely any hesitation. The kid, R Grantaire, shot up like the hand of God and began dressing quickly, before his father could rush in and spoil the day for him. It’s his birthday, and for Christ’s sake, if that means his father can’t have a strife with him with him in his underwear, then it damn will happen.

As soon as he got his pants on, he admired his choice posters. Hanging on the left side of the wall was a huge poster of Snoop Dogg, and there was assorted rappers and their crews. On the treasured right wall was his poster of Nicki Minaj, the greatest of all rappers he ever heard of. He remembered his computer, and as he came to his senses, he just realized that he had a ton of messages from his friends, coming in like a waterfall.

He ambled to his computer and clicked on Pesterchum.

mythicalMayans began Pestering nihilisticRapper at 3:20 a.m.

MM: hey

MM: hey r

MM: happy motherfucking birthday

MM: i hope you have a good one

MM: and i hope u like ur present, it took me forever to get it to u

He smiled and then red the next incoming set of messages

smilingLark began Pestering nihilisticRapper at 5:30 a.m.

SL: hey hello!!!! :^)

SL: hey r :^)

SL: have a happy birthday!!!

SL: hope you like your present!!!

He clicked on the next set of messages.

learnedFrench began pestering nihilisticRapper at 9:30 a.m.

LF: happy birthday u nerdface

NR: no ur the nerdface

NR: i happen to be the cooliest of cool

LF: is that even a word

LF: cooliest. because it sounds like u made it up

NR: shut the fuck up marius of course its a real word

LF: lmao so

LF: u excited for today?

NR: uh no???? what’s happening today???

LF: did u already fucking forget

Grantaire stared at his keyboard for a minute until his eyes found his calendar, and the circled date. October 30, 2009. His birthday, and as he slapped his hands over his eyes for being a dumbass, he also realized it was the date for the Sburb beta launch.

NR: oh yeah

NR: its the sburb launch

LF: hell yeah it’s the launch boy

LF: so fucking pumped for it like no shit

NR: i

NR: i see. ur bro still setting up that hardcore launch party for it

NR: or somethin??

LF: nah Bro doesn’t want to play it up

LF: he does work 4 gamebro u kno

Grantaire had to physically restrain himself from rolling his eyes. There was something in the way Marius typed like he never learned that he wasn’t at all cool and never will be. He frowned, and then corrected himself. Marius was cool, but he was a dork. That’s it; that’s all there is to it.

LF: oh yeah and ‘fore i forget

LF: remember to get ur copy before ur dad decides to strife w/u

NR: can u not mention my dad

NR: u say his name he immediately grabs a protractor and heads my way

LF: whatever

LF: hey give musi a message when u get ur sburb beta k??

LF: and say hi to cosette 4 me also

NR: will do

Grantaire left his room cautiously to look for the game, but came straight into contact with his father’s bust of Galileo. He hated that damn thing, he always swore that its eyes follow him whenever he got out of his room, like it was plotting his downfall. He stepped quickly and quietly down the stairs and peeked at the mailbox through the window.

Damn, he cursed mentally, his father had already picked up the mail. So logically, the next place it could be was the study, as in the place that Grantaire wanted to be in the least. But Grantaire sighed, steeled himself, and walked in to grab the game. His father was probably busy calculating the hypotenuse of some super triangle while worshipping under the feet of Pythagoras and Darwin. He reached for the handle, turned it, and he half expected his father to be there waiting for him.

But he wasn’t. And that was really strange.

On his father’s desk was a red and blue package, the game, and a note. He went closer to the desk and read the note.

Son

Happy birthday. There will be no strife today, seeing as you’re already a man now, you can take what you want in peace. Have a great rest of the day.

Grantaire shook his head. That was odd of his father to do. But what the hell, as long as he didn’t have to fight his father that was okay for him. He could leave cryptic messages all over for all Grantaire could care. He grabbed the game, his dad’s iPhone, and the package and ran up to his room as fast as he could, just in case his dad changed his mind.

Grantaire went back to his computer and typed a quick message to Musichetta.

nihilisticRapper began Pestering mythicalMayans at 10:15 a.m.

NR: hey musi

NR: i got the game

MM: hell yeah

MM: put it in

NR: ok

He put the disk in and watched in excitement as the loading screen came up.

NR: i put it in

NR: ur turn to do this

NR: ok???

MM: dont rush me u loser

NR: srry im just rlly excited ok???

MM: nah i get ya

MM: i got it im in control

MM: lets make some shit

 

 

The loading screen stopped, and the entrance screen to Sburb loaded into view. A machine (that was probably the Alchemizer) made its appearance downstairs. Loud cracking came into his hearing range and he ran to his door, expecting everything and nothing at the same time.

 

 

It was his bathtub in the middle of the staircase.

NR: musi

NR: look at me right now

NR: just do it

NR: whats wrong with this picture.

MM: srry D: its taking me a while 2 get used 2 the controls

MM: oh shit

NR: what

NR: whats going on

MM: go to ur balcony and then tell me whats going on

 

He squinted at the phone suspiciously and jumped out of the bathtub and ran up the next flight of stairs and opened the door to the balcony and looked at the sky. It had just turned blood red and black spots were peppering the sky.

 

 

NR: whaT T E H F C U K

MM: calm down im pretty sure it wont harm u

NR: LIKE THATS EVEN HELPFUL

MM: it is

MM: just be careful abt these little imp guys tho

MM: theyll fuck ur shit up real bad

NR: thanks 4 the warning

MM: nd 4 u forget

MM: prototype ur sprite

With that, he ran down the steps as fast as he could. He stopped at the living room, where Musichetta had already started to make things that could be useful. Grantaire stopped at it, and typed the keys to prototype the sprite.

He looked for something to throw in and spotted his grandfather’s ashes. He looked warily back at the un-prototyped sprite that was hissing and spitting, and without any hesitation, chucked the ashes at the sprite.

There was some god awful unholy screeching, and Grantaire was thrown back a few feet and had a new sense of confusion.

MM: yo!!!!

MM: u ok?

MM: dont do that

NR: akdnamdalf

MM: ill take that as sign of me being right

MM: SHIT LOOK OUT

 

The next thing he knew he was tossed one of his father’s long spears (he gave up on understanding his father a long time ago). He grabbed the spear and faced a large black being, with teeth sharp enough for him to be really scared for his life. “WHAT THE FUCK?” he screamed as he dodged a meaty fist and jabbed the thing with his spear.

 

 

The spear hit its mark and the being (could it be an imp was the question) burst into small colorful drops.

MM: ur not dead hooray

NR: no but i almost was

MM: u need to get to the first gate, nerdlord

MM: ill help as much as i can but i have 2 get 2 my own gate

MM: mind waking up cosette 4 me?

MM: shes my teammate u kno

NR: sure

He put that conversation on hold as he sent a quick message to Cosette.

 

 

nihilisticRapper began Pestering smilingLark at 11:45 a.m.

NR: uh hey

NR: cosette r u awake?

SL: Nope! She’s fast asleep

NR: please dont tell me im talking 2 her auto responder

SL: You do learn! :) what can I do for you, ‘Taire?

NR: i need u 2 wake up cosette 4 me

NR: were having an apocalypse or sumthin

NR: shes musichettas partner and she cant get 2 her gate without cosette

SL: will do, ‘Taire! Don’t you worry your pretty blue eyes a second

SL: I’ll have Cosette up and at it before the meteors hit your planet!

Grantaire put that on hold, and saw he had a ton of new messages from Marius.

learnedFrench began Pestering nihilisticRapper at 11:57 a.m.

LF: HOLU SHSIT GRANTAIRE WE ARE BEING RAINED UPON BY

LF: THE FUCKGIN HEAVENS HOLUY SHIETS

NR: calm down dummy and hurry up to ur gate

NR: and while u do that

NR: tell me wat ur planet is like pls

LF: mmkdkamf

LF: i mean ok

LF: i had my laptop bang my ass

NR: whatever

NR: c u soon

LF: yea ok

Grantaire looked up, and saw the massive ladder Musichetta had built from the grist left by the imps and gave a little sigh. _Now it’s time to get off your ass and be a hero,_ he thought, steeling himself and took the first step.

**Author's Note:**

> if you like it, pLEASE tell me. 
> 
> anyway, thanks for reading!!


End file.
